Everyday, when I leave campus, I have to take this one elevator. There are three doors out of the elevator lobby. Door #1 (would you like to see what's behind the curtain?) is really a pain because the concrete heaved or something, and it only opens to like 30 degrees. Plus, there's some kind of rail there that is always wet, so if you choose this door, you have to squeeze past this rail, and your butt gets wet. Door #2 opens correctly, no weird rails. It's a winner every time. Door #3 is only sort of an option. It's one of those automatic doors that sense people. I have no trouble using these doors, except on 2 occasions. 1. If it is like the doors at the CSU library, which, if you're on the outside, and it sees you, it opens OUTWARD. So if you've been heading for the door and you want to open it, and it catches you first, you have to run backwards, and then hold your arms out like a police barricade to warn and protect others. (Or maybe that's just me?) When I have to go to the library (constantly) I frequently make a big wide curve to avoid the sensor (for obvious reasons. I mean, you can only run away screaming from the library doors so many times before some kind of campus authority starts to keep their eye on you.) 2. If it is marked handicapped. I don't use handicapped parking spots, obviously. I also don't use the handicapped stall in the restroom, although I think this area is kind of sketchy. Still, it's the principle, and even when there is a long line, and it's my turn, and that stall opens, I wait. I have accidentally sat at handicapped tables in the lunchroom twice in my life. Once here at CSU (Not traumatic) and once at Memorial, on my first day of junior high (intense trauma). I can be talked into telling the story, but maybe in another post. Door #3 is marked handicapped. So, because this area is a little sketchy to me (plus, I don't want people pointing, and whispering about how LAZY I am, can't even open my own DOOR for Pete's sake.) I will only use this door as a second-last resort. So. The only choice, clearly, is door #2, with door #3 in a pinch. Well. All this week this man has been standing outside the lobby, on his cell phone, in front of doors #2 AND #3. Blocking BOTH exits. Leaving me to get a wet butt EVERY DAY. I have been so angry at him! Although, like a total nutcase, I haven't said one word to him. Not even, "excuse me." Right. Well, yesterday I decided I had had enough of this cell phone door blocker. I mean, move to the left a little! Block door #1! No one likes that door! But I'm a wimp, so I went to door #1 again. But on the way, I purposely PASSED THE SENSOR. The handicapped door swung open, took him by surprise, and knocked him into the weird wet rail, and wet his butt!! I laughed SO hard. In fact, I'm laughing now. I was so giddy over this little act of vengeance, that I yelled out, "Take that, cell phone door blocker! Enjoy that wet butt!" as I ran away. Ok, that part didn't happen, but I wanted it to. P.S. The blogger spell-checker does not include the word nutcase.